The Gender Pay Gap and Other Inequalities
The British government in its infinite stupidity has bowed to pressure from the loonies of left-wing new-wave feminism and forced large organisations and businesses to spend precious time and valuable resources producing largely meaningless statistics regarding their gender pay disparities. This fruitless waste of time has proven what all truly perceptive people already knew, that by and large, overall and generally speaking, men in these large organisations tend to earn more than women. Well, there's a surprise! The sad truth is that, the cost of this ridiculous exercise could have been saved by the government simply by asking an averagely intelligent member of the public for their view on the issue.
However, now that this futile exercise has been undertaken, the government has the excuse it needs to put in place strategies to tackle what it claims is unfair gender remuneration in the work place. It will undoubtedly come up with plans to increase the number of women in top positions, thus increasing their relative levels of pay. Unfortunately, these plans are likely to include such strategies as all women short lists at job interviews, persuading the nation's schoolgirls to study accountancy and promoting people to senior management positions on the basis of gender instead of talent and ability. Such strategies are not only likely to be spectacularly unsuccessful, but also massively expensive. Having myself given the issue some cursory thought I've come up with a much cheaper, and I believe a much more easily implemented solution.
As gender is now viewed by many in the LGBT community and beyond as a social construct, why not simply provide some small financial incentive to a certain percentage of men in top positions to transition from male to female? This would at once be a cheaper option and would also solve the so called gender pay gap at a stroke. There would of course, be some small cost in providing gender neutral toilets and an alternative wardrobe for the agreeable candidates, but this would amount to no more than the price of make-up, wigs, dresses, hosiery, over-sized stiletto-heeled shoes and padded bras. Those who desired to fully transgender and wished to have their genitals removed, could perhaps be given the added incentive of having their surgery provided free under the National Health Service. As long as the number of men willing to transition was appropriate we could achieve perfect pay parity between the genders, thus providing a cheap and simple solution to what would otherwise be a very complex issue.
Of course, the real problem of unfair remuneration in the work place goes far beyond the issue of gender. If it's judged unfair in general to pay men more than women, then what about all the other criteria which may affect pay inequality? For example, are tall attractive people generally paid more than short ugly people? Are right-handed people paid more than left-handed people? Are hard working diligent people paid more than feckless lazy people? Are blue-eyed people paid more than brown-eyed people? Are intelligent people paid more than unintelligent people? Are able-bodied people paid more than disabled people? Inevitably, there's no easy fix for many of these disparities. It would prove much more costly to make short people tall, unless one was prepared to use the rack and even if more humanely, one could enlist the co-operation of reluctant surgeons, it would still prove immensely expensive and troublesome to achieve. The list of potential reasons for inequality are almost infinite. I think we need the answers to some of these other issues which may affect relative pay. After all, in a society where all inequality is perceived as discrimination we need to ensure that no identifiable sub-group is unfairly treated.
Witnessing our politicians and politically correct media muppets considering all the other possible reasons for pay differentials would provide great fun for all of us interested observers, who would immensely enjoy seeing what depths of insanity might be plumbed by the efforts to achieve the fairness so desired by the advocates of human rights and social justice.
Ultimately however, the only way to absolutely ensure that there is no perceivable pay gap for whatever reason, would be to pay everyone in work exactly the same, regardless of age, education, talent, ability, effort, experience, or indeed, gender. The resulting society would of course, make North Korea look like paradise on earth by comparison, but would I'm sure be welcomed by the nihilistic masochists of left-wing idealism.
Ultimately however, the only way to absolutely ensure that there is no perceivable pay gap for whatever reason, would be to pay everyone in work exactly the same, regardless of age, education, talent, ability, effort, experience, or indeed, gender. The resulting society would of course, make North Korea look like paradise on earth by comparison, but would I'm sure be welcomed by the nihilistic masochists of left-wing idealism.
